Too Hideous For Words (and I don't mean the "fatties")

Now Playing: Friendly Fires - Kiss of Life

How vain do you have to be to join a site called BeautifulPeople.com? A site so "exclusive" you can only get in if existing members agree that you're hot enough? How desperate for validation must you be?

It's alright though, they love you! You're officially one of the Beautiful People! But then, tragedy strikes. It's the holiday season, there are carbs everwhere, you can't avoid that turkey dinner with the folks, and before you can say "superficial," you've put on weight.

As easily as that, you've lost the acceptance of your peers - who aren't actually your peers anymore, as they've voted you and 4,999 others off the island and you're no longer a member of BeautifulPeople.com. Are you worth anything anymore? How can you know you're beautiful unless other people tell you so?

It's not the site's fault, of course. It had to maintain its standards as the last bastion of the Certifiedly Attractive on the internet. In the words of site founder Robert Hintze,

"As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld. Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded."

So even as you languish in exile, you have hope. Because there is still a place for your people - or the people you used to be, at any rate - where beautiful people roam, unmenaced by the fatties, the plain, the uncoordinated and the unprimped. One day, you will get back into paradise - if you have to starve, purge or cardio yourself to death to do it.